My dear daughter had her first experience with mean girls the other day. It had me feeling sick to my stomach as I was forced to remembered my days of being bullied and dealing with mean girls. I tried to remain calm, but every inch of me wanted to jump up and scream "I'll fight them for you baby girl", but let’s face it, me as a 30 year old mom beating up a couple of 6 year old girls is not realistic. Then there was the fact that if I took it personally she'd take it personally.
We talked over what happened in more detail, what does "they were mean to me" actually look like. We also talked about ugliness in actions being a heart problem, something inside of them that was ugly and that it had nothing to do with her. I wanted to emphasize the point that a few mean girls doesn't mean the M is worth anything less than when she walked in that day. We talked over some of her options, and the pros and cons of those choices. At one point M asked me if she had permission to be mean back to them. I tried not to cringe at her question and calmly discuss the pros and cons of that choice just as we had for her other choices. Ultimately she decided that would not be a good choice.